News Headlines – Fri 1st

So, it\’s April 1st … which makes it prankster\’s delight, April Fools Day. So it\’s time to be very careful as a humble web news editor. Trust no-one, believe nothing. Let\’s find some spoofs! First up, here\’s a gimme – Jason Polakow nearly gets hit by a jet-ski on Jaws. Yeah, right! Oh, hang on, we covered this last month when it actually happened on 15 March. Check here. OK, it\’s real…


Fair enough. Let\’s look at what\’s coming out of Maui right now then, real japesters them Hawaiians. Here we go – Maui Surf Report have pictures of helicopters out over Ho\’okipa with the world\’s finest on strangely coloured new kit in perfect conditions. Oh, it is 2012 photoshoot season though. Damn. More at

Fine. So how\’s this? Released today, so they say, is Fanatic\’s alleged latest addition to their Falcon range. Two 2012 Falcon Speeds. Get this, one of them\’s apparently 45cm wide – I mean, you could only possibly use that on real stupid-windy days, probably flat water too, but then the lack of drag from the hull would let it go, what, 40-knots plus … oh. More here.

Or, here\’s a laughable idea along much the same lines – imagine digging a vast 2100m long by 150m wide channel for the express purpose of breaking the world speedsailing record. Well, it pretty much happened in France, but Germany? Really? This one does seem a bit fishy actually, they look a lot like various civil construction projects to us, and very little like a speedstrip – see the April 1 posts on and (translated)

OK, so maybe this April Fools thing is more of a British phenomenon? News to us, but maybe. So what have we got? Ha! Both Windsurf Britain and 5-Oceans are claiming that they actually got out windsurfing yesterday. Ridiculous … although thinking about it, we\’ve got sand all over the floor in this office too. And a salty taste still on our lips. In fact, it was pretty blowy yesterday. Fine – check out and

Hmmm… Spoof sponsors? Nayra Alonso reckons she\’s picked up a new boom supplier called … wait for it … Aeron! Paah … aah, I was using one of them myself yesterday. Kosher then. More at Er, and Bubble (if that\’s even his real name?) now claims to be under the banner of Aviate Sports Representation – like there are agencies that make money from handling sports sponsorship deals in this day and age… Oh, there are? Fair enough then! More at

This must be one – Xenia Kessler wielding two pairs of scissors in some sort of homage to Edward Scissorhands. What, suppose she\’s eschewed freestyle to become a full-time hairdresser? Er, no, after a night on the booze she set about trimming The Windsurfing Gypsy\’s hair out on Bonaire. Fair enough, looked like it needed help anyway: more at and

Dodgy mock-up \’historical\’ images it is then? This has to be it: Ken Winner bluffing that he was making front loops way back in 1980. Like a windsurfer could get upside-down way back then, before monofilm even existed. Next you\’ll be telling us Robby Naish was already wavesailing like a legend. I mean, they\’d be landing doubles and looking at triples by now… Oh, they are? Still borderline though – check out

And finally, we\’ve actually definitely got one… Thanks to Zakel for the only obvious joke of the day – apparently Ricardo Campello and Robby Swift have finally been outed at Pryde / JP. YEAH, RIGHT! More at


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Photo Credit: 5-Oceans


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